Manifesto

I’m 167 cm’s tall and I weight around 74 kilos, I think. That’s 5ft 6in and 11st 9lbs (or 163 lbs), and it makes my BMI 26.5. It’s not an awful lot, but technically it means that I’m overweight. I’m going to set 57 kilos as my ultimate dream weight (for reasons explained below), but my first milestones are:

• 10 pounds off by 24.12.2006
• 30 pounds off by 1.3.2007

I have absolutely no concept of how realistic these targets are, so they might change in the future. I’m still breastfeeding and I can’t really embark on a strict diet, so it’ll be down to exercise and leaving out the rubbish.

I’ve never been overweight before. I had a baby nearly a year ago, and I’ve pretty much been sitting in the house with him ever since. I have a bag of excuses why I haven’t been as active as I could and should have been, but there’s no point in listing them here because the excuses have helped to create a circle of laziness, comfort eating and weight-gain that I want to break.

I have a few other blogs that I write in my own name, but this blog is going to remain anonymous. Writing is a hugely therapeutic way for me to express myself and to analyse my feelings and things that I come across in my everyday life. Here I intend to examine my life from the persperctive of weight-loss: the fears that hold me back from leading an active life, the real reasons and emotions behind my lack of control when it comes to eating. I will also be seeking motivation and encouragement for my weight-loss battle from the blog community, so any comments and thoughts are more than welcome.

I have come to the conclusion that a major reason to my weight gain are my growing insecurity, the feelings of inadequateness, the increasing loneliness combined with cabin fever, and the feeling that my partner is not happy with me as I am at the moment, both mentally and physically. I promise I will go deep into these issues in my future posts, so there’s no point of doing it now.

This blog also be my food and exercise diary, and when the time comes, the progress log. At the moment my weight loss is still only a dream. I have weighed 63 kilos for most of my adult life, and the heaviest I have been before the pregnancy was about 67 kilos/10st 8lbs/148 lbs. My ideal weight would be about that – 62 or 63 kilos. I have never lost more than 2-3 kilos in my life, but if I manage to get the hang of it this time, I would like to see if I can get that extra few kilos off my former weight.

I do recognise that trying to get 5 kilos below my ideal weight is plain vanity and I don’t even know how it’s going to work out for me. It would just be great not to have to worry about going jeans shopping, for once! My body has a natural hourglass figure when I’m in my ideal weight, which usually meant that my tops were UK size 8, and bottoms size 10 or sometimes even size 12. As a teenager I used to wear baggy hiphop jeans, so my naturally slim teenage thighs were never shown off, and I feel that I’ve missed out on an important part of being a woman… Haha.

Anyway, that’s the facts and a little bit of extra. I’m dreading the ride, but I’m feeling quite positive, like I’ve taken the first step. Here’s my initial plan how to lose weight:

1. Cut off chocolate, crisps and other snacks.
2. Start walking at least 3 times a week.
3. Buy an exercise video.
4. Get scales and monitor my weight every day.
5. Keep food and exercise diary.
6. Reduce the size of portions.
7. Replace lunch sandwiches with salad.
8. Eat good breakfast.
9. Drink lots of water every day.
10. Replace cream and butter with lighter alternatives.